..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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