Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
