Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
