So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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