i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
