i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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