legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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