AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
