He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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