I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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