then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
