Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
