Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
