Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
