whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
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