just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
