I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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