I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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