nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
