He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
