I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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