I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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