Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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