I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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