I could make wine with my vomit
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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