I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
