no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize