just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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