last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
