somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
