She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
