My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
