We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
