on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Holy sore nipples Batman
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
