JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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