We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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