Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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