u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
