Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
When are your genitals available?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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