from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
