then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i've created a new STD.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
