Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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