she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
