I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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