So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?