Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
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my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
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i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable