What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
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I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
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A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.