doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
