I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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