Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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