I heard we made out
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
