thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
