I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
