the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
