Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
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