in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
