You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
How does it feel to date your dad?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
