i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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