I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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